HELP ME TO SMILE

Can't hold on my tears anymore. 

Just have to let it go, trickling down my face all over.. Sob sob.. 

My husband said to me when I broke the news that the UPT was positive, he said that I got pregnant because I gave food and being nice to the Kamikaze cat behind our house. We also brought him to the clinic to treat his illness.

But, I guess, I was not good enough, be it to the cat, to my husband, to my children, to my mother in law and sister in laws who are staying with us. I have a lot of sins and just that reason, makes me nobody who deserve to have whatever wishes and du'a I have made... 

Ya Rabb! Please give me SABR. 

Please forgive me all my sins.

Please accept my solat, my ibadah. 

Please let me pass my PhD, the only thing, the only du'a that I wish you to grant me, 

Because I don't think I can bare any of Your big tests anymore...

Sob sob sob sob..

Make me a strong person Ya Allah..

Help me to be patient Ya Allah..

Please Ya Allah.. Ya Rahmaan Ya Raheem.. 

Sob sob.. Sob sob..